Publishing Q&A
I answer 3 questions from a debut author
I’m Tawny, author of Dry Humping and co-author of The Sobriety Deck, co-host of the Recovery Rocks podcast, and co-founder of the vinegar-based botanical beverage, (parentheses)
I answer questions like: What tasks/responsibilities/things should I put on the “bare minimum for survival” list while actively writing the book? What can I expect the next six months of book writing to look like? How can I communicate this advice to my very supportive partner?
Relatable moments of author life
Upcoming writing class info
I ran an advice column here on Substack for seven months as part of my book’s preorder campaign. I figured a great way to promote my book about sober (curious) dating and relationships was to write a weekly advice column about… you guessed it… sober (curious) dating and relationships. Readers submitted questions when I answered in a weekly column format.
The column came to an end around the same time as 2023, which was also the same time my book tour wrapped up. I was finally sick of talking about and writing about the topic that I’ve studied obsessively from both journalistic experience and personal experience since 2015. I was ready to write about something new—even though I still have no idea what my second book will be about.
This newsletter now gives me the flexibility to figure out what I want to write about next. I’ve since explored topics like algorithms, cannabis, releasing a drink, the importance of changing our minds, and more. I like that my newsletter doesn’t necessarily have a *theme* right now. I’ve spent my entire writing career “niching down,” as I was told. Now I’m ready to… niche up?? niche out??
I do miss writing an advice column, though. It gives me a place to share the vast amount of research and resources that live in my head. I told my friend (and former managing editor of my advice column!),
, that I missed my column. So, she had the brilliant idea of submitting a few questions about book publishing as she prepares for her first book deadline. (Side note: This is a great example of how writers NEED editors. If you’re the only person who proofreads your work, you’re missing out on a significant part of the writing process!)It’s hard to believe that my book has been on shelves for eight months! I’m now focusing on teaching classes like Book Proposal 101 next week and Book Proposal Boot Camp in June (more info on both below!) so these questions truly came at the perfect time.
The Question:
Dear Tawny,
I'm currently working on my first book (eek!), and I need some real talk about the book-writing process. Mainly, advice on managing my time and what I need to let go of while actively working on the book.
I'm a full-time working mom with ADHD. Needless to say, my life can be stressful AF. Additionally, I am still recovering from burnout after being "let go" from a dream job in January 2023 and a pretty terrible depressive episode that left me unable to work, write, or do much else than survive and be there for my family.
My husband and I are serious about keeping an equitable and fair home, so I also have a few nights a week when I can be "off" from parenting duties. I'm struggling to figure out where and how to best fit in writing my book. It's not an emotionally complicated book but it does take quite a bit of research, especially as I face my first deadline to my editor in June.
Realistically, it's going to be tough to handle a day job, parenting responsibilities, and prioritizing my mental health while writing this book. So here are my questions:
What tasks/responsibilities/things should I put on the “bare minimum for survival” list while actively writing the book?
What can I expect the next six months of book writing to look like?
How can I communicate this advice to my very supportive partner?
Help!
-Booked in Time (aka your friend/former managing editor Irina, journalist, editor, writer of Parenting in Hard Mode, and soon-to-be author)
P.S. It's my life's goal to have a book published with my name on the cover so that I can go to a bookstore and say to my Cuban and Russian ancestors, "Look at this incredible thing I did!" I still can’t believe this is real!
The Answers
Hi Irina! Below you’ll see my answers to all three of your excellent questions:
What tasks/responsibilities/things should I put on the “bare minimum for survival” list while actively writing the book?
I think the best way to look at this chapter (Sorry, I had to!) is by evaluating your priorities. Here’s how I restructured my priorities to focus on writing my book:
Outsource - Writing a book is beyond stressful so I had to identify what else stressed me out so I could do those things less. For example, I let my partner know that I probably won’t cook as much while on deadline. So he either cooked more (which he loves!) or we ordered takeout. Some of my dear friends also bought me Seamless gift cards, which was so helpful!
Log Off - Speaking of outsourcing, I’ve worked with a virtual assistant for the last three years. She handles a lot of my social media/emailing/podcast logistics/google calendar/etc… so I can focus on writing. If hiring a VA isn’t an option, I recommend setting an away message for your inbox and social media.
Therapy - Keep your sessions lighter/in the present moment. I didn’t have the capacity to work through childhood trauma while writing my book. Instead, I talked about my work in real-time with my therapist. This approach helped me feel more present and in control of my life as I live it today which in turn nourished my writing process.
Freelancing - The great irony of writing a book is that we often have to turn down freelance writing assignments even though we need the money because the advance we get for writing said book is, sadly, not that much money. Some authors keep freelancing while writing their book, while others (like me!) couldn’t do both. I intentionally chose a mindless day job (customer service) so I could put my creative juices into my writing career. Figure out what feels right for you, both financially and creatively.
Get Offline and Into Your Body- Writing a book is quite cerebral. I had to intentionally get into my body to remember that my book is just a project… not my whole identity. For me, this meant yoga, weight lifting, coloring, tarot cards, fun date nights, etc.… Find a hobby that gets you away from screens and reconnects you to your body.
Treat Yourself… A Lot - I treated myself like a queen while on my book deadline because writing a book was my life goal. I was fucking doing it! That’s something to celebrate—especially for your Cuban and Russian ancestors who couldn’t do such a thing. My book’s acknowledgments thank my Jewish and Mexican ancestors who weren’t taught how to read or write. Being the first person in your family to write a book is a big deal! Signing a publishing contract is a big fucking deal! Yes, the actual workload is heavy, but you genuinely have to enjoy the process. I happily spent way too much money on fresh flowers for my desk every week. I got tons of massages/acupuncture/pedicures/manicures. I lit candles in the shower and used shower steamers and fancy soaps. Whatever your equivalent of treating yourself is… do it in a way that makes financial sense for you and your family.
I know from your experience and that of other author friends that writing a book takes a lot of emotional and mental energy. What can I expect the next six months to look like?
The best advice I can give here is to be kind to yourself while trying new things. Writing a book is new. You’re working with a new editor. You’re creating a new routine.
My book-writing process was chaotic and random, but it weirdly had its own rhythm that made sense to me. I wrote and edited on three different devices: my laptop, this e-ink typewriter thing, and then marked up my drafts in PDF format on this e-ink tablet to save paper. I also divided my chapters into note cards and stuck them to poster boards which then hung all over our apartment for months.
You’ll learn *a lot* about yourself, your writing practice, and how your loved ones respond to your boundaries during these next six months.
How can I communicate this advice to my very supportive partner?
What I told my friends before hiding in a cave to write my book:
“Hi! If you’re receiving this text, that means I love you and care about this relationship. I also care about my book deadline. For the next few months, I’ll be a little MIA while in writing mode. Please invite me to things, but know that I may not be able to make it, or I may cancel at the last minute. I love you!”
What I told my now-hubby:
“I have no idea what to expect while on writing deadline. Please be patient with me while I navigate all of this newness. And when I’m an asshole, please remind me to do yoga.”
Upcoming Classes:
I have two book proposal classes coming up! Book Proposal 101 is a one-night event that covers the basic elements of a book proposal, while my Book Proposal Boot Camp is a six-week intensive for folks who are ready to actually write their proposal this summer.
Here are the deets:
Book Proposal 101 VIRTUAL May 22nd, 7-9EST
Want to write a nonfiction book but have no idea where to start? Take my new virtual class! This course will help you understand what a book proposal is and how to actually enjoy writing one.
Whether you're pitching a nonfiction book or a nonfiction card deck, Book Proposal 101: Stop Dreading It and Start Writing It will help you feel empowered by the proposal process rather than overwhelmed.
OK, you might still feel overwhelmed, but you can totally do this!
Book Proposal Boot Camp VIRTUAL June 5th - July 10th, 7-9 EST
This 6-week intensive course picks up where the first one left off. In a virtual group setting, students meet with me for two hours a week to finally dust off that old Google Doc and get to work. Each week is structured so students can focus on one aspect of a book proposal at a time rather than feeling overwhelmed by the whole thing at once.
Each session ends with a 20-minute Q&A where students can ask about publishing, proposals, finding an agent, preorder campaigns, and book marketing.
If you made it this far… thanks for reading our founder’s story! Grab your bottles of (parentheses) and signed copies of my book by clicking the link below.
XO,
Tawny
Thanks for sharing! Excited to take your class next week!
This are some really solid suggestions - thanks for sharing them!