My Book Was a #1 New Release on Amazon. And I’m Broke.
And your fav Best Selling author is probably broke, too.
Welcome! I’m Tawny, an advice columnist better known as “The Sober Sexpert” and author of Dry Humping: A Guide to Dating, Relating, and Hooking Up Without the Booze. I’m here to empower you to find your *intrinsic* courage without booze—regardless of your relationship status—one date at a time.
I’ve been struggling with the decision to pivot this column from free to paid—and I want to explain why I’ve decided to get paid for my work. And wow what a weird sentence to write!
But first, save the dates for my upcoming tour stops.
Upcoming Book Tour Dates:
Oct 17th - (NYC) Minus Moonshine book signing 5-7 pm
Oct 25th - (NYC) Break Free Gala, I’m walking in the fashion show!
Oct 28th - (NYC) Shatterproof 5k Walk, book signing
Nov 8th - (NYC) Sober (Curious) Queer Tarot Mixer with Curious Elixirs
Nov 15th - (LA) Live convo with Paulina Pinsky at Berri’s Lounge with NA pop-up, Licoeur
Nov 30th - (DC) Live convo with Laura Silverman at Binge Bar to celebrate my 8th SoBerthday!
Save those dates if you wanna hang! Ticketing info is coming soon. Boston, Denver, Waco, Austin, and Seattle are all in the works, too.
Now, back to being a broke author…
I spent years (YEARS!!!!) paying my dues. “Paying your dues” ironically means not being paid much money, if at all—especially in the arts.
As a writer, I’ve been paid in concert tickets, drinks, books, sex toys, and other various swag. I’ve also been “paid” in exposure, which, if you haven’t heard, doesn’t actually pay for rent or groceries. Bummer. Again, ironically, being “paid in exposure” usually requires artists to expose parts of themselves that border on exploitation just for a new byline. Like the time I wrote about masturbating every day for a week… for $50. I often wonder what would happen if I asked my accountant if I could pay them in exposure.
I’m not sure why artists are expected to work for free or why we’re called a sell-out if we attach a price tag to our work, while it’s perfectly acceptable (and expected!) for traditionally employed folks to be on payroll.
Give it Away, Give it Away, Give it Away Now
At her recent book launch,
said it’s better to give away your art for free than to sell it for less than it’s worth, and she’s 100% correct. Selling a confessay (confessional essay) for $50 stung way more than blogging on my own site for free because blogging meant having agency over my work. I control the “content,” and nobody else is using my work to monetize from ad revenue. For that reason, I’ve genuinely enjoyed giving away this newsletter—my art—for six months. I’ve met some awesome folks, created solid resources, and built a steady newsletter list. But I’m broke.I’ve wrestled with the right way to pivot this column from free to paid. I thought about bringing on a newsletter sponsor who aligns with my values, but working with a sponsor is also a great deal of work I can’t add to my plate.
Right now, I’m promoting a book, a book tour, a podcast, my fiance’s vinegar business and launching our new botanical drink, plus a few other creative projects I’ll announce soon. I can’t afford to give away my work—any of it—for free like I used to. And before you ask, yes, writing is work. It’s a job. Writing isn’t my hobby; it’s my career.
Why I’m Going Paid
I spend 10-15 hours per week working on this newsletter (writing, sourcing questions, interviewing experts). I pay an editor to beautify the copy. I pay a graphic designer for the images. Beyond Liquid Courage is my own little Sober (Curious) People magazine. And it’s in the red.
I’ll disclose my modest book advance in a future issue, but for the time being, just know that it’s basically pennies above the poverty line for an individual in 2023 (and this is before paying my agent and paying my taxes). Even authors who receive six-figure advances are broke because of when and how the publishing industry pays writers. (
does a great job of breaking down how the finance of publishing works.) Literary agents are also making significantly less than they used to. Times are tough all around, y’all.There’s a misconception that people who live their lives publicly are wealthy. I can post all damn day about the cool shit I’m up to, but my low bank account balance keeps me quite humble. My Instagram looks like I live a fabulous life (and I do!), but it’s worth noting that a lot of the glam events I attend are because I get free tickets. (Remember that free stuff I mentioned earlier?) Those events also offer a chance to network, which hopefully leads to book sales, paid newsletter subscribers, brand partnerships, and paid speaking opportunities. (Notice I said “hopefully” a lot? It’s not a guarantee.)
Investing in Myself—and in You!
After working in customer service (bars, restaurants, and retail) for 20+ years, I quit my day job in February to dive head-first into my writing and entrepreneurial career. I’m taking a leap. A safe-ish leap because I do have some investments and savings to keep me going for a bit, but I don’t have much money coming in right now.
I like when artists, especially writers, are transparent about money because it helps me see the people I look up to as, well, people. So I’m being transparent about money with you—because it’s good for me to be honest, and it’s good for you to know how much labor goes into producing the content you’re enjoying.
Those 10-15 hours weekly I devote to Beyond Liquid Courage don’t include things like the dozens of newsletter classes I take to create the best I can for you, my readers. It also doesn’t include the mental load that goes into creating all of this while also worrying about my financial situation. I love my job. I also want to pay my bills with the money I make from my job.
Note: If cost is a barrier, please email me at tawny@sobrieteaparty.com, and I’ll make sure you still have full access to my column!
Yes, There Are Still Perks to Being A Free Subscriber
My weekly Hump Day advice column is going behind a paywall on October 18th, but free subscribers will still get to enjoy updates about my book tour, NYC-based events, my drink launch, and occasional free posts/guest columns.
If you are a paid subscriber or decide to go paid, you’ll get the full column every week, Beyond Liquid Courage’s complete archive (along with the archive of my OG sobriety blog, SobrieTea Party), and other exclusive content.
Discount, Discount, Discount!
Because I’m deeply obsessed with y’all (in a healthy way!) I’m offering 30% off a full-year subscription to Beyond Liquid Courage. Upgrade to paid by Oct 17th to take advantage of my Sober October sale.
Don’t Want to Upgrade to Paid But Still Want to Support My Work Financially?
Buy my book
Buy another copy of my book for a friend or donate it to a resource center
Ask your local library or bookstore to stock my book
Hire me to speak at your office/university/book club/rehab center/something else
Editors, please hire me for freelance writing gigs
Writers, hire me to get your book proposal together or for writing coaching
Buy our vinegar
Follow Parentheses, then buy our drink when it comes out
Venmo me, baby!
Look, at the end of the day, this has been a really difficult decision, but I truly think it’s what is best for me, the writer, and you, the reader. Going paid with (most) of this newsletter will allow me to continue this work, make it even better, and keep from burning out. And if you enjoyed reading Body Image Beyond Booze, How to Pre-Game Date Night Without a Drink, or Sober Break Ups 101, then I hope you agree that my not burning out and continuing to provide this information is, well, worth the money.
Happy Humping,
P.S. This issue was edited by Irina Gonzalez.
Your transparency about the challenges faced by artists, particularly writers, in the pursuit of their passion, is not only refreshing but also essential in fostering understanding.
The complexities you highlight, from being paid in exposure to the delicate balance between giving away your art for free and recognizing its true worth, resonate deeply. Your dedication to providing quality content, the behind-the-scenes effort, and the financial realities you face as a writer are eye-opening.
I'm a new subscriber, but your honesty and dedication shine through in this piece, and I'm eager to see Beyond Liquid Courage flourish in its next phase.
-Connor
Amen, and you don't need to justify being paid for your work here or elsewhere, girl. You hustle and put your heart and guts into this stuff. You're well past 'paying dues' - get it!