I Need Date Ideas That Don't Involve Booze. Help!
Embrace the Sunny Side of Sober Dating
Happy Hump Day, y’all! Welcome to the third issue of Beyond Liquid Courage. This weekly advice column answers subscriber questions about booze-free dating, relating, and hooking up—whether you’ve given up drinking for good or are just a little curious about the alcohol-free life. I’m Tawny, AKA The Sober Sexpert and author of the forthcoming book Dry Humping: A Guide to Dating, Relating, and Hooking Up Without the Booze, and I’m here to help you embrace your true-but-maybe-hidden inner courage.
This week, I answer a popular subscriber question: What are some fun outdoor date ideas that don’t involve alcohol? Whether you’re dating, getting serious, or in a committed relationship, this issue’s for you!
Dear Tawny,
It seems like every date I’m asked on is either an invitation to a boozy brunch on the patio or a wine-fueled picnic in the park. I’m happy the weather is warming up, but I’d love some suggestions for fun, outdoor, alcohol-free dates this summer. Help!
Sincerely,
Tan and Bored
Hey, Tan and Bored! I remember dating in early sobriety—long before I met my partner and became The Sober Sexpert—and people asked, “You don’t drink? Then what do you do on dates?” The good news is that dating is inherently booze-free; pop culture has conditioned us all to link alcohol with dating or hooking up.
The GREAT news is that you’re not alone in wanting alcohol-free date options. The popular dating app, Hinge, recently surveyed 3,000 global Gen Z and Millennial folks to learn what they’re looking for on a date. A shocking 75% said they want booze-free first dates! And remember, Hinge didn’t interview 3,000 sober folks—this is just the dating scene these days. Yay!
(P.S. My upcoming book has several chapters on sober dating!)
7 Booze-Free Date Ideas
The following dates have something in common: they’re all about having an experience, not just sitting around and talking (not that there’s anything wrong with that!). Plus, they include physical movement, which is known to relieve stress. Apply this knowledge to alleviating first-date jitters or having an uncomfortable conversation with your partner(s).
1. “Drinks” in the Park: Who needs champagne when you have a thriving non-alcoholic drink scene? Grab a bottle of sparkling tea or put together an NA beer tasting. Here are some of my favorites—with discount codes! Not into the NA drink scene? Try a tea tasting. My partner got really into tea in early sobriety because he learned that teas are similar to wine in terms of nuanced, interesting flavor profiles.
2. Botanical Garden: Get lost among gorgeous florals, butterflies, and ponds. Take time to stop and smell the roses while talking about the flowers with your date. Or if that’s cost-prohibitive, find a local park or community garden.
3. Pride Events: Whether you’re queer, questioning, or a passionate ally, attending pride events can be a great way to bond on a date while also supporting a fabulous community. Plus, there’s no better time than right now to support your local drag queens.
4. Get Physical: Sign up for a 5k or obstacle course together. Feeling competitive? Maybe the “loser” has to cook dinner, or the “winner” picks the next activity!
5. Puppy Time: If you or your date has a dog, take them on a walk or find a local dog park. Give your fur baby some time to play while you and your date get to know each other.
6. Explore the Great Indoors: Summertime still has rainy days and oppressively hot weather, so that’s a great time to visit museums or trendy pop-up exhibits. Or even better… stay in, order takeout, and binge the latest season of your favorite show. (Plus, see #1 for something to add to date night at home.)
7. Redefine Passion: Maybe you and your beloved aren’t rip-off-your-clothes obsessed with each other anymore, but that doesn’t mean the passion is gone. Have a talk on a sunny patio about what passion means to you both individually and as a team. Maybe this sparks attending a political rally, volunteering for a local non-profit together, or getting involved in your children’s after-school programs. Maybe some social passion might spark something new in the bedroom, too!
What are your favorite booze-free date ideas? Comment below!
If this week's newsletter interests you, there’s a full chapter in my book, Dry Humping: A Guide to Dating, Relating and Hooking Up Without The Booze, on this very topic.
Next week’s issue explores how alcohol can negatively impact your sex life. Subscribe here so you don’t miss it!
This issue was edited by Irina Gonzalez, and the artwork is by Anne Porter.
Until next week,
P.S. I’m co-hosting a sober pride event on June 11th in Brooklyn! Grab your ticket here.
