How to Party Without Booze This Halloween
8 Tips for a fun, booze-free Halloween, straight from the experts
Welcome! I’m Tawny, an advice columnist better known as “The Sober Sexpert” and author of Dry Humping: A Guide to Dating, Relating, and Hooking Up Without the Booze. I’m here to empower you to find your *intrinsic* courage without booze—regardless of your relationship status—one date at a time.
Welcome to a special Halloween edition of Beyond Liquid Courage. Today, we’re pressing pause on dating and relationship talk to focus on the most important relationship you’ll ever have: your relationship with yourself.
Halloween is just around the corner, so I asked some of my sober (curious) author friends and alcohol-free experts for tips on staying away from booze while still participating in spooky seasonal festivities.
But first, save the date for my upcoming book events:
Oct 25th - (NYC) Break Free Gala, I’m walking in the fashion show!
Oct 28th - (NYC) Shatterproof 5k Walk, book signing
Nov 8th - (NYC) Sober (Curious) Queer Tarot Mixer with Curious Elixirs. Get your free ticket here.
Nov 12th- (NYC) I’m moderating a talkback about grief featuring actor/playwright Katie Mack and author/grief therapist Gina Moffa. This convo follows a live performance of Mack’s one-woman show, #UglyCry. Buy tickets here.
Nov 15th - (LA) Live convo with Paulina Pinsky at Berri’s Lounge with NA pop up, Licoeur
Nov 30th - (DC) Live convo with Laura Silverman at Binge Bar to celebrate my 8th SoBerthday!
OK, now for my take on sober (curious) Halloween.
From Party Girl to Sober Halloween
Halloween is my favorite holiday because it’s about being playful, getting creative, dressing up, and committing to the character. I also think Halloween is the most Heavy Metal holiday because it gives people a chance to embrace their dark side just before being attacked by Holiday Merriment. (I have a future essay about The Holidays, but, spoiler alert… I’m not a fan, mostly because I find consumerism to be toxic AF. #scrooge)
During my Party Girl Era, I took Halloween very seriously. And by seriously, I mean that I wore a revealing costume and got absolutely shitfaced. I drank until I blacked out regularly, but I partied extra hard on Halloween. Perhaps the costume provided an additional layer of escapism that paired with my pulls from Jack Daniels’ bottles.
I rarely dress up for Halloween these days, but having a puppy lets me get creative with her costumes. And yes, you read that right. Stevie has multiple costumes because I’m that dog mom. The last time I dressed up was Halloween 2019, years after getting sober. I dressed as Avril Lavigne (my go-to costumes are either Avril or Slash) and felt incredibly old because none of my Gen Z co-workers knew who I was. When I told them, their reply was, “Who?!”
Later that night, I went to a Halloween party hosted by NYC-based sober non-profit BIG VISION, where I entered the costume contest only to, once again, be asked who I was. Perhaps it’s officially time to hang up my Avril costume. Wardrobe drama aside, I loved being at a Halloween party full of sober folks because it showed me that we never really needed booze to dress up and have a good time. All you need is good music, tasty food, and people who love and support you.
8 Tips for a Sober Halloween
And now, here’s what my friends have to say about celebrating this spooky holiday without the booze—whether you’re triggered, ready for fun, or want to connect with your inner child:
Being sober in a costume is a superpower. The one thing most of us have to re-learn when we stop drinking is how to be confident in social situations. Putting yourself out there, talking to other people, flirting... that stuff is hella awkward! But have you noticed that when you put on a costume for Halloween, you're instantly more confident? You're playing a character, taking on the role of that sexy nurse or the (sexy) bag of Cheetos, or whatever costume you chose for yourself, leaving your ego and discomfort and awkwardness behind. It's not you, it's the character! This is your chance to act silly, play the confident boss babe you aspire to be, or just be a happy, sexy bag of Cheetos—no booze needed. Being sober in a costume is a superpower. Now go get it, tiger. - Sam Bail, owner of Third Place Bar NYC
If sugar cravings become extreme (especially with all of the Halloween candy around), try to pair sugary goodies alongside a meal or a snack. Having sweets and treats on their own (or on an empty stomach) can make you crave more sweets (and even worsen cravings for alcohol). Instead, pair sweets with a source of protein, or directly after a meal. - Dr. Brooke Scheller, Doctor of Clinical Nutrition, author of How to Eat to Change How You Drink and founder of Functional Sobriety
Halloween can be a tough holiday for me, as someone in recovery for alcohol use disorder and an eating disorder. It feels a bit like I’m getting squeezed from both sides, not to mention it is such a disregulating day in general: loud noises, amped-up kids, crazy costumes, etc. I set some serious boundaries around my time and energy on Halloween to ensure I have some breaks between the chaos. I also keep my kids' candy out of sight after Halloween’s over, both so they don’t eat it all at once AND so I don’t feel constantly triggered. -
, author of It’s Not About The Wine: The Loaded Truth Behind Mommy Wine Culture and .
Remember what you loved about the holiday from when you were a kid: candy and dressing up. Don’t be afraid to let loose with Twix and Snickers. And remember: it wasn’t always a drinking holiday. Give your inner child free rein to dress up and play—and go home before curfew (which now is around the time people start getting drunk). -
, co-author of It Doesn’t Have to be Awkward: Dealing with Relationships, Consent, and Other Hard-to-Talk-About Stuff
My approach to sober Halloween isn’t that different from other times when I feel pangs of “missing out.” The first practice in my bag of tricks is to fast forward to how I’ll feel and look after (meaning, after drinking versus not drinking). Taking this further, I might consider how they’ll look and feel (meaning, the folks who aren’t doing Sober October). I know, I know. This sounds judgmental and mean. But trust me, I’ve had enough scary morning afters to last a lifetime—not to mention all the times I’ve laid in bed well past Witching Hour reviewing what I posted, emailed, said, or did while drinking and high. Even if we keep it positive and leave the drinkers out of this, I looooove waking up sober. There’s a whole day ahead! And all the best Halloween candy! -
, a doctor of Chinese Medicine and writer of
I absolutely loved Halloween ever since my family moved to the U.S. when I was eight years old. In fact, I remember my first costume when I dressed up as a gypsy (I didn’t know better back then, sorry) using my mom’s fake jewelry, my abuela’s flowy hot pink skirt, and a fancy Russian scarf. I dressed up every Halloween after that, including all throughout high school when I would go trick-or-treating with my younger brother and friends. (Note: Let teens trick-or-treat! They could be doing a lot worse.) These days, after getting sober, I reconnect with that spirit by wearing what I jokingly call “couples costumes” with my son. I even wrote about our first Halloween together! Don’t be afraid to let out your silly side on this holiday. It’s worth it! -
, journalist, managing editor of Beyond Liquid Courage, and author of Raising Gen Alpha.
Confide in a buddy that you're not drinking and might need to just lean on them emotionally. And it's cool if you get overwhelmed by those that are drinking. It's okay to leave if you need to. Bring nonalcoholic drinks for yourself (maybe even in a tiny soft cooler) so that you have the thing in your hand and something to sip on. - Aqxyl Storms (they/them), founder and owner of Minus Moonshine (a non-alcoholic bottle shop in Brooklyn, NY)
Dress up and go to a party! Perhaps this seems counterintuitive like you should stay in to be safe, but sometimes we need to push ourselves and remember that even without alcohol, we too deserve to be the person dressed up as Elvis who goes home with a Minion. - Sophie Saint Thomas, author of Sex Witch
At the end of the (holi)day, Halloween is whatever you want it to be. Whether you’re going all out, making a killer DIY costume, dressing up your pet (or kid), casting spells in a cemetery, or getting cozy with a horror novel (I highly recommend Jordan Peele’s new anthology!), spooky season is the perfect time to let your freak flag fly. Be unapologetically weird and booze-free. I dare you.
Happy Humping,
Tawny
P.S. This issue was edited by Irina Gonzalez.
