What Work Addiction Recovery Looks Like
Meet my actual, non-stop inner dialogue
I’ve never taken two weeks off from work. Ever. I’ve always worked at least one job since I entered the taxable workforce on my 15th birthday1. Before that, I babysat, worked odd jobs, or sold drugs in my high school bathroom2. I’ve always had a side hustle, even when I was in active substance abuse.
This time next week, I’ll be on my honeymoon. This will also be the first time that hubby and I, after nearly six years of being together, are taking a vacation just for us.
Not for family.
Not for a wedding.
Just for us to relax.
I’m equal parts exhilarated and terrified. Who am I when I’m not working? I’m buying arts and crafts to take with me in fear of getting bored, or worse, being unproductive. I must produce something if I take time off from work, right?
This past year has been wild, to say the very least:
I published my first book.
Hubby and I launched an NA spirit, meaning I learned how to be a publicist for a drink brand.
I became a writing teacher.
But that’s just work stuff. Why is it always my first instinct to list my professional achievements when describing this past year? Recently, I caught up with a friend and listed all the aforementioned professional achievements.
“How about your personal life?” he asked.
“Oh, yeah. I got married!” I replied.
My actual, non-stop inner dialogue
I thought about writing extra newsletters and scheduling them to publish while I was gone, an act that might “justify” my absence from the internet.
Then I asked myself why I’d do such a thing.
Then I replied to myself.
It went something like this:
Me: You’re taking off two weeks, so you should work A LOT right now to make up for that time.
Also Me: Dude. No. You don’t need to “earn” a vacation, and you don’t need to work harder before and after the vacation to justify taking time off.
Me: OK, but you need to stay relevant. Maybe just schedule one newsletter to remind people you exist?
Also Me: That’s just your social media addiction talking. These stupid fucking social media platforms and their horrible algorithms have conditioned us to think we need to create content ALL THE TIME so people don’t forget we exist. Please chill out and revisit your highlighted sections of Ambition Monster by
.I guess we’ll see which “me” wins.
Upcoming Classes
Book Proposal Boot Camp Sept 5-Oct 10th (Guest speakers: Hilary Sheinbaum and
). Sign up here.Book Proposal 101 Oct 1st. Sign up here.
Book Proposal Boot Camp Oct 22-Nov 19th (Guest speakers:
and Jordyn Taylor) Sign up here.Be Your Own Publicist October 9th. Sign up here.
Preorder Recommendation:
My friend and fellow journalist in the NA space (and guest speaker at my September boot camp!), Hilary Sheinbaum, has a new workbook coming out on September 3rd. Going Dry is divided into six chapters, each focusing on a different aspect of the dry experience. This book is packed with prompts, exercises, and activities for anyone doing Sober October, Dry January, or who wants to create a more mindful relationship with booze.
If you made it this far… thanks for reading!
Here’s how to support my work:
XO,
Tawny
ICYMI:
I Pegged a Trump Supporter: I republished my 2019 Playboy essay
The Cult of Liquid Courage: A virtual convo where
Emily Lynn Paulson
and I discuss the intersection of cults and alcohol abuse
Yes, I’m a Capricorn. How did you know?
I’m intentionally referencing my past selling drugs with a cavalier approach. People have an idea of what a drug dealer “should” look like, not realizing that they’re often just normal people doing normal things who just happen to sell drugs, too.
I feel this deeply! First off, congrats on getting married and I hope you can enjoy your time off. I recently have been recovering from the "hustle" and I can promise you that the internet will for sure go on without you, but it will easily let you slide back in when you want to return!
I could not relate to this more. Enjoy your vacation!!