Are you addicted to your phone?
10 questions to ask yourself
I’m almost nine years sober from alcohol, but I’m in an active addiction to my phone.
For me, phone addiction includes being addicted to work, email, social media, the 24-hour news cycle, endless scrolling, algorithms suggesting my next unnecessary purchase, comparing my body shape and career milestones to others, the dopamine bursts of people validating my existence with a like or a follow, and much more.
My smartphone addiction is so strong that I deleted all apps that offer doomscrolling. Those timer apps just didn’t work for me. Using an app to limit my screentime reminded me of googling “Do I have a drinking problem?” or telling myself I’ll just have one. Managing a phone addiction and identifying toxic digital behaviors requires a great deal of humility and honesty, just like getting sober or sober curious.
I’m removing algorithms where I can, opting for a print subscription to newspapers and magazines. I now notice people on the subway scrolling through their feeds, checking how many views their IG story has, zooming into a photo of themselves to obsess over a pimple, and refreshing apps eagerly awaiting the dopamine rush of new comments or likes—behaviors I know all too well. My FOMO radiates from their screen, along with the blue light.
I felt this way in early sobriety when I passed a bar, watching people take shots or sip beers. These behaviors can’t be part of my life right now, I tell myself. Maybe one day, but not today.
Early sobriety prepared me for this new chapter of my recovery. Now, when I see people participate in behaviors that I associate with toxicity because I only know those behaviors in a toxic way, I remember what nearly 15 years of being a yogi have taught me: Mindfulness. Observe without judgment. And to quote the iconic Tim Walz… “Mind your own damn business.”
I open a book or magazine, relieved that these printed pages contain zero unsolicited videos or gifs or moving ads designed to assault my attention span while I read.
Support Groups
Those in the recovery space know there’s a 12-step group for just about any behavior or addiction: overeating, gambling, hoarding, codependency, shopping, finances, video games, sex and love, and of course, alcoholics/narcotics anonymous.
I recently checked out the website for ITAA, Internet and Technology Addiction Anonymous. I’m beyond grateful that I no longer feel shame or stigma about being an addict in recovery. I’ve made peace with doing everything to the extreme because that’s how I’m wired. Accepting this character trait makes being nice to myself a hell of a lot easier, which makes abstaining from self-destructive behaviors a little easier, too.
Regardless of the question, being kind to ourselves is always the answer.
10 Questions
ITAA offers support groups and resources for phone, tech, information, news, video games, and social media addiction. The following questions are copied and pasted from the ITAA site.
Before answering, take a deep breath, commit to being honest with yourself, and know you’re not alone if you have a few yeses. 🙋🏽♀️
Do I ever go on my phone to quickly check something and then discover that hours have passed?
Do I ever swear off or set time limits around my phone or screen time, and then break my commitments?
Do I have binges on my mobile devices that last all day or late into the night?
Do I turn to my phone whenever I have a free moment?
Does excessive smartphone use lead me to neglect my personal hygiene, nutritional needs, or physical health?
Do I feel isolated, emotionally absent, distracted, or anxious when I’m not on my phone or I’m away from my devices?
Does my smartphone usage contribute to conflict or avoidance in personal relationships?
Has my cell phone use jeopardized my studies, finances, or career?
Do I hide or lie about the amount of time I spend on my phone or the kinds of digital content I consume on it?
Do I feel guilt or shame around my use of my phone?
Our society dubbed the aforementioned behaviors as “chronically online” or “extremely online” or the colloquial favorite, “doom scrolling.” But these 10 questions highlight the social anxiety, depression, or ennui that many of us feel every.single.day. So we scroll. And comment. And like. And subscribe. We adopted these habits not too long ago, yet it feels like this is how it’s always been.
Recommended Reading
I’m devouring books on tech addiction/algorithms the same way I voraciously read sobriety memoirs. If you’re not into support groups, perhaps the following books are more your vibe.
The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness by Jonathan Haidt (he also writes about tech and philosophy in his newsletter,
)Filterworld: How Algorithms Flattened Culture by
Technically Wrong: Sexist Apps, Biased Algorithms, and Other Threats of Toxic Tech by
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Tawny
Thank you for writing this. I've been wrangling with this since I stopped drinking 7 years ago. Last week I decided that since I can't moderate (app limits, downtime, etc) I need to go back to a dumb phone. Thanks for the book recommendations. I'm working up the courage and the bravery to just quit cold turkey.
Loved this! Thought I was addicted, but reading your questions, I only said yes to #10. So it would appear the addiction is all in my head and I just love to bash myself!
Loved the cartoons you picked too!