A Week in the Life of The Sober Sexpert

A photo essay to help me enjoy the publishing process

Welcome! I’m Tawny, an advice columnist better known as “The Sober Sexpert” and author of Dry Humping: A Guide to Dating, Relating, and Hooking Up Without the Booze. I’m here to empower you to find your *intrinsic* courage without booze—regardless of your relationship status—one date at a time.

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My author friends tell me to enjoy the publishing process as much as I can because they know how stressful it is to be one month from launch day. So this photo essay is my attempt at, well, enjoying the process. If I’m honest, it’s also my attempt to remember what happened this week because, at this point, I move so fast that I don’t stop to smell the fresh roses that I keep on my desk.

I’m also trying a photo essay because the thought of writing or journaling feels daunting. But I can trick myself into writing by “describing photos” 😉.

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Before we dive into the photo essay, this is a quick reminder to submit your preorder receipt so you can download your Dry Humping Starter Guide and receive a signed bookplate! Haven’t preordered my book yet? In the words of Gwen Stefani… what you waiting for?!

And now for the pics!

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Dan Savage Interviewed Me For His Podcast

This interview was such a killer moment. For the uninitiated, Dan Savage is an iconic, Seattle-based sex columnist. He’s been in the biz for 30+ years, paving the way for all the sex writers we have today. His team sent me some questions that Dan received about sex and sobriety so I could listen to them before Dan and I record. The two questions we tackled: Sobriety & Boners and Meth in the Gay Community. This episode of Savage Lovecast drops in September. Stay tuned!

Humpy Takes Germany

My über-supportive friend, Sam, took my book on a recent trip to visit her family. She oh-so-lovingly made a multi-part video series about her experience taking Humpy (Sam’s pet name for the book!) all over Germany. Sam even put googly eyes on Humpy, which means she obviously put sunglasses on the book when they went sailing. I’m so grateful to my friends who’ve been so creative in helping me promote my paper baby! It takes a village to write a book, publish a book, and promote a book!

Humpy Played With Some Friends

Gina (left photo) and I met on Instagram a few months ago. Earlier this year, I lost several friends my age who died by suicide or drug/alcohol poisoning. The grief was palpable, but so was my increasing rage at the fact that these people just needed help, and for some reason, they couldn’t find what they needed. I’m a mental health advocate because we’re in a mental health crisis and suicide epidemic. As a proper millennial, I went to #grief on Instagram, which led me to Gina Moffa, LCSW. Turns out we both have books coming out soon (Gina’s comes out on Tuesday!), so we took our books to lunch! Preorder Gina’s book here.

Jess (right photo) and I met 7ish years ago at Wanderlust in Vermont. She was a vendor selling her clothing line, Folk Rebellion. The shirts had a vintage, raglan style with beautiful text about logging off and wandering to where the WiFi is weak. She also briefly had a quarterly newspaper that I subscribed to. I’m a vinyl girlie, so naturally, her analog approach to creativity stuck with me.

Then, in 2017 and 2018, I ran a quarterly reading series called Readings on Recovery. I went to lots of literary events here in New York, so I was inspired to do my own recovery-themed series. Jess read an essay about technology at one of my events over five years ago (what is time?!?!). We ate at Lure Fishbar (I wrote about this place earlier this week) and talked about everything from publishing to the NA drink scene to rock n roll. Jess’s book comes out in October. Preorder here! P.S. She designed her book cover!

I Got Dry Humping Nails!

I went to Mellow Bar to see if they could turn my book cover into a manicure. The nail tech even mixed multiple shades of blue together to get the right shade of navy! They also told me that a musician came in once to have their nails match their new album cover. And apparently, when T. Swift’s tour came through NYC, lots of Swifties got Era’s-themed nails.

I Saw Humpy in the Wild!

I went to the NY Now Market (Check out my video recap here) to network with sexual wellness brands. This tradeshow was huge (I mean… it was at the Javits Center!), so needless to say, there was ~a lot~ of energy in that room. My partner and I have an artisanal vinegar brand, and we frequently sell our vinegar at markets. Being on the seller’s side of things helps me appreciate the effort that these NY Now vendors put into their booths. This market had everything from makeup to jewelry to greeting cards and everything in between.

I wasn’t expecting to find a book section! Turns out publishers go to these tradeshows to showcase best sellers and up-and-coming books. I found my publisher’s section and then nearly gasped when I saw Lil’ Humpy sitting there!

I’m A Cover Girl!

I’m the fall cover girl of After Magazine! Nicole, the editor-in-chief, and I met at a BIG VISION/Sans Bar event last summer. I gasped when she asked me to be on the cover of their fall issue. Nicole and her friend’s daughter, Sam, came over this week for a photoshoot. Stay tuned for more info!

Until then, subscribe to After Magazine here (Click the orange ‘subscribe’ button, then use code Dry Humping for 25% off your first year!) You can also purchase individual issues here.

Help Me Get to SXSW

Last but not least, please vote for my friends and me to present a panel at SWSW! Today’s the last day to vote :)

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That’s all for now!

Happy Humping,

Tawny